Past 10 days, before her demise, I was reading Bhagavad Gita. Never knew the reason behind. I wished to read it many times, but never gave myself into it. Me, a person who always wished my end before anyone's and who is very attached to all, started realizing many things.
1. Love must be there, not possessiveness.
3. Let us free the Soul. Our binding will block it's progress. Let it be at Peace.     


Whenever I visit her, she always used to hold my hand with love. This time, it was me who was craving to hold her and feel her. I was in control most of the time but still tears fell... It's okay... Thanks to the Lord for helping me. I knew He was trying to teach me something. When the time came, to hold her, some fear popped up. I told the same to Mom. She said, "Why fear?" She held her and seeing her I too held her hand. I felt her. That moment I was very happy. Then, I bowed to Her and felt better. Though it was the body; when I saw her face, I felt she was very peaceful. At the same time, felt that she was longing to see everyone. I wish her Soul to be at Peace... When coming to happiness before her death; yes, she was happy. Mom was there with her and that's the reason. However, her death was unexpected but this was the best solution for her next best life. May Your Soul Rest In Peace, Ammamma. Love You... 

Sometimes, a sudden contraction happens in this mind when I think about my progress in life and on what I am. It's about me trying to know myself.


Before Isha :

Shirdi Sai happened to me as a friend. I never knew the value of Him as He happened to me just like that. I enjoyed life but I was with many doubts related to God and Life. He, being an amazing Guru guided me(and is) in every walk of life. I thought that education, career, marriage and everything in life is separate from spirituality. I created a wall. I divided the worlds saying materialistic vs spiritual. But all these gel well together is what I realized late. I was not conscious enough in knowing this at that moment. I used to create many things unknowingly and never knew that thought has it's power. Even at the worst times, He was my only strength. He was the only one who made me know who Radhe Krishna was. Tears flooded when with Him. Amazing experience. When am nutty at times(out of track), He pulls me saying you saw me through your dream and that is reality.


After Isha :

Thanks to Sai for showing me my another dream. Life changed altogether with many notes to put on. Isha actually helped me in breaking my barriers. After the downs at all levels(physical, emotional, mental, energy), I consciously knew how to enjoy life and what peace means. My doubts related to Lord Shiva and many things about life got cleared. Actually Bhakthi enhanced. It's like you giving yourself away in everything you do. And Guru Puja was the one which made me feel that SAI picked me and not me selecting Him as a friend. How stupid? He cracked this nut. Thanks SAI. You are Sadhguru and you are everything. Doing Guru Puja is the only means in which I can offer myself completely to you. Thank You.

1. Do Birthdays/Anniversaries symbolize the completion of the years? No...

Birthday - It says, be like the new born, with that cute little innocence, enjoying life as it is.. That freshness in life, is what matters...
Anniversary - Says enjoy every year like the way you enjoyed the beginning... It adds value to the relationship... It doesn't mean exchanging gifts or any. It only means having memorable moments or time for each other...

We can make it happen every day if we wish to...
Only then Life can become Complete... :)

2. Some make you feel precious, some make you feel the best and some make you feel worthless. Do we need to depend on what other's think of us?
To some extent it's okay to know about yourself... But most of the time, we must trust our instincts and move accordingly by being what we are and doing what we have to... Be unbiased, learn, correct yourself(if required) and move forward.
Happiness automatically accompanies... :)

3. Interests with assistance blossoms and with interference creates a mess.

4. Do you know? We all have a third eye. An inner eye of wisdom and knowledge. It's related to Self-Realization.

5. Looking for solutions outside to a problem might always not work. But for sure, when you start looking within, it 100% works...

6. The one who praises you might hurt you and the one who hurts you might praise you. Never have any impressions. Treat everyone the same way.
It's tough but that's how we should be.

7. Attachment, at times, leads to disturbance in mind and sorrow.
At the same time, being detached too never helps. 
A sort of balance must strike between both in such a way that you become the joy forever.

Loved the photography, locations, music and dance... A cool melodious song. :)

Manasuni kothi tho polusthaamu. Adi kuduruleni thanaaniki chihnam. Mari Hanumanthudu? Aayana ghanatha emani varninchagalam. Atuvanti manasune oka daarilo petti entho saadhinchina theeru amogham. Aa kuduru, aa bhakthi aayannundi nerchukovaali.

Oka disagaa jeevithaanni ankithabhavamtho daarilo pettaali. Anduku, dhyanam thappakundaa sahakaristhundi.

Idi aa Hanumanthuni deggara chusi nerchukovalasina vishayam. O Hanumaa, aathmabalam, sankalpabalam entha goppado chupinchavayya. Dhanyavadalu!

Mainly about,
1. Your way of being content and people's acceptance (about you in their way like taking you for granted, misunderstandings, ...) and
2. How I started thinking about death from childhood (touch wood, everyone are safe.. but thoughts are thoughts, no idea on how they have started). I used to wonder where do people go after they die. So, many questions... But acceptance on this area has only come in my life after Isha.. (am better now).

Both the mentioned topics above are so interlinked. Need to write about the same to understand life in a better way...

Andariki,
SRI NANDANA NAMA SAMVATSARA SUBHAKANKSHALU!!!
(Telugu New Year Ugadi Greetings in advance... :) - it's on 23rd March)

I don't know what makes me wait, but from past 5 years I was looking forward for this year to start. Might be it's the year name that attracted me the most with which I have associated many things in my life to happen.....
My previous post on Ugadi says everything(with the list of years).
Here is the link: http://kalpana01.blogspot.in/2007/03/happy-ugaadi.html

NANDANA means 'intense joy or delight'. I wish the same to everyone in their life.
If you are interested in knowing more, click on the article below.
http://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/religion/article3024497.ece

HAPPY UGADI!! (once again :))
Good Luck!!!