Past 10 days, before her demise, I was reading Bhagavad Gita. Never knew the reason behind. I wished to read it many times, but never gave myself into it. Me, a person who always wished my end before anyone's and who is very attached to all, started realizing many things.
1. Love must be there, not possessiveness.
3. Let us free the Soul. Our binding will block it's progress. Let it be at Peace.     


Whenever I visit her, she always used to hold my hand with love. This time, it was me who was craving to hold her and feel her. I was in control most of the time but still tears fell... It's okay... Thanks to the Lord for helping me. I knew He was trying to teach me something. When the time came, to hold her, some fear popped up. I told the same to Mom. She said, "Why fear?" She held her and seeing her I too held her hand. I felt her. That moment I was very happy. Then, I bowed to Her and felt better. Though it was the body; when I saw her face, I felt she was very peaceful. At the same time, felt that she was longing to see everyone. I wish her Soul to be at Peace... When coming to happiness before her death; yes, she was happy. Mom was there with her and that's the reason. However, her death was unexpected but this was the best solution for her next best life. May Your Soul Rest In Peace, Ammamma. Love You... 

Sometimes, a sudden contraction happens in this mind when I think about my progress in life and on what I am. It's about me trying to know myself.


Before Isha :

Shirdi Sai happened to me as a friend. I never knew the value of Him as He happened to me just like that. I enjoyed life but I was with many doubts related to God and Life. He, being an amazing Guru guided me(and is) in every walk of life. I thought that education, career, marriage and everything in life is separate from spirituality. I created a wall. I divided the worlds saying materialistic vs spiritual. But all these gel well together is what I realized late. I was not conscious enough in knowing this at that moment. I used to create many things unknowingly and never knew that thought has it's power. Even at the worst times, He was my only strength. He was the only one who made me know who Radhe Krishna was. Tears flooded when with Him. Amazing experience. When am nutty at times(out of track), He pulls me saying you saw me through your dream and that is reality.


After Isha :

Thanks to Sai for showing me my another dream. Life changed altogether with many notes to put on. Isha actually helped me in breaking my barriers. After the downs at all levels(physical, emotional, mental, energy), I consciously knew how to enjoy life and what peace means. My doubts related to Lord Shiva and many things about life got cleared. Actually Bhakthi enhanced. It's like you giving yourself away in everything you do. And Guru Puja was the one which made me feel that SAI picked me and not me selecting Him as a friend. How stupid? He cracked this nut. Thanks SAI. You are Sadhguru and you are everything. Doing Guru Puja is the only means in which I can offer myself completely to you. Thank You.